Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
