Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
