The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize