Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
