I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
