3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I did not marry a roomba.
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