My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
