You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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