I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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