It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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