I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
