I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
