He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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