The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
