Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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