You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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