my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
