i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
