Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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