I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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