Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
