No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
