You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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