Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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