i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
