she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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