oh god the rape fog is back!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
