Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
