Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This is my gift to your gina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
