I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize