We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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