So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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