i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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