what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
