He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
