Im at strip club and am horny
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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