sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
