you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
