There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
