His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
