did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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