69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize