Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
