Me. At least after what I've been through.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
