They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
