I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So vagazzling was a success
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
