No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
