Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize