yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
