Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
