never play flip cup with pint glasses
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize