I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
