I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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