I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
whose parrot is this?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
