help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize