i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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