I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
