i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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