Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
