like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
