Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
