So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
