Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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