Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
