i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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