she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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