and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
