Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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