I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
