How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
North Korea, Best Korea!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
