Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
