two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
